Resources for loss moms

If you have just lost your baby, we are so deeply sorry. There is no right way to do this. What follows is a short list of places that have helped other mothers, and a few things about your body that someone should have told you. Take only what is useful, and leave the rest for another day.

Your body after loss

Whether your baby was stillborn or lived for a short time, your body will go through a postpartum recovery. You can expect bleeding for several weeks, soreness, cramping, and fatigue. If your pregnancy was past about 16 weeks, your milk will most likely come in two to five days after delivery. This can be one of the most painful surprises of loss, physically and emotionally, and you have choices about how to handle it.

Our printed Lactation After Loss guide explains those choices in plain language, from suppressing milk comfortably to expressing or donating it in your baby's memory. It is the same guide we place in every basket.

Please call your provider if you have heavy bleeding, a fever, severe pain, or thoughts of harming yourself. Grief is heavy enough; you do not need to carry a medical worry alone.

Organizations that can help

• Courage in Time

  Free Courage Boxes of hand-picked items, sent at no cost to parents who have experienced stillbirth or infant loss at 20 or more weeks.

• Forget Me Not Foundation

  Support for parents grieving a baby lost before, during or shortly after birth, and education for the healthcare workers who care for them.

• Fourth Trimester Foundations

  Lactation consults and postpartum support from Carly, an IBCLC lactation consultant and postpartum nurse serving central New Jersey and eastern Pennsylvania, virtually or at home.

• Pockets of Light

  A Montclair, New Jersey community for people who have lost a pregnancy or infant: peer support groups, events, and free perinatal-loss training for local hospitals.

• @alexandraandwells on Instagram

  An Instagram account our founders recommend to mothers walking through loss.

• Return to Zero: H.O.P.E.

  A national nonprofit offering support and community to people facing pregnancy or infant loss, to the family and friends who want to help them, and training for the providers who care for them.

• Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support

  One of the oldest loss-support organizations in the country, with local chapters, online groups and resources for partners and grandparents too.

• Postpartum Support International

  Free, confidential help for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, including a dedicated loss and grief support group. Call or text 1-800-944-4773.

Reading from our community

Our founders have written about the meaning of the candle in each basket, the chain of people that made this work possible, and the small synchronicities that have kept us going. You may find something of your own experience in their stories.

Need a basket?

If you or someone you love has lost a baby and would like a Basket of Healing, please reach out. There is no form to fill out and nothing to qualify for. We will simply do our best to get one to you.